February at our church is always The Month of the Family. This month, we enjoyed a special speaker, Bob Barnes of Sheridan House Ministries of Florida. He was a excellence speaker on family and parenting – I would highly recommend his parenting books. I know that many of the MOPS moms went to the parenting seminar that He gave and found it really beneficial ~ they are still talking about it.
As he was preaching about parenting as a couple ~ he made a statement that I have really been pondering. He said, “That he didn’t need a spouse that was compatible with him, but one that completed him.” Wow, that is so different than what our Christian advertising is telling us. He proceeded to say that he doesn’t need someone who is like him, but someone who makes up for his weaknesses and helps him see things he would not otherwise see.
Earlier that week, Bill, my husband had been talking about how we did not have many of the same interests and we were considering what we should do about that. Bill and I are very opposite – he is very analytical – I am very people orientated. He is good at working with hands (he can fix anything!!) – I am very good with people, listening and discerning feelings. When he speaks, he has his words well thought out – I think and process my thoughts as I speak. I have lots and lots of words to say each day – Bill does not have as many. I could go on and on listing our differences, but I am sure that you are getting the general idea.
Yet, our marriage works because of God’s grace and work in our lives. I am not sure if the tests would claim us compatible, but I know that Bill completes me. He helps me in math (which my brain does not do at all), he usually can bring my visionary thoughts to life and he listens when I talk (although he may still be analyzing something I said 5 minutes ago, not realizing that I have moved way beyond that). I know that I complete him as I make him deal on a deeper level emotionally, as I minister to our daughter’s feelings and share with him what is going on and as I bring lots of people in our home which he enjoys. His strengths complete my weakness and my strengths complete his weakness.
26 1/2 years ago when we committed in marriage to each other – I probably thought we were more compatible than we really are. But now I know that Bill completes me and together our marriage reflects God’s grace and love. I cannot imagine my life with anyone else, because no one else would understand my weakness as he does and still want to be with me. I praise God that He gave me someone who completes me and not another me!!
Now, please let me share for those of you going through tough times in your marriage (and I know that there are many of you). Bill and I have been there more times than I care to admit — but at those times it was only the commitment to God’s plan for marriage that held us together. There have been so many times when neither of us liked the other very much and probably wished we would have married someone more compatible. But we stand as living proof that marriages can be restored and redeem by God’s work of grace in both of lives. Right now, as our marriage endures these tough financial days there is love, grace and even laughter. If at all possible, stick your marriage out and rest in God’s love and care for you. Pray hard; cry out to God to be your lover until the love is restored between you and your mate. He can help you fall in love again and it is very special to enjoy the completion you have in the mate that the Lord provided for you.
Here is a prayer that I pray for my marriage and encourage you to pray for yours…
“They will be my people, and I will be there God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them; I will never stop doing good to them and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant them in this land with all my heart and soul.” Jeremiah 32:38-41